


You're Special

by Katybug1992



Series: Tumblr Prompts [144]
Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Female Colton Parayko, Female Jaden Schwartz and Robert Thomas (mentioned), Women in the NHL
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-10
Updated: 2020-07-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:22:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25174558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katybug1992/pseuds/Katybug1992
Summary: After a day of knowing her, he knew three things were absolutely true:1. She was a fucking good hockey player and he never wanted to get hit by her slapshot (seriously, Binner had actually had to take a minute after he blocked it for the first time).2. She was fucking gorgeous. Like Disney princess level (he had a crush on Cinderella when he was little, shut up, Binner).And 3. She was out of his fucking league. Like, they weren’t even in the same arena.
Relationships: Joel Edmundson/Colton Parayko
Series: Tumblr Prompts [144]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1139243
Kudos: 25





	You're Special

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by a quote from Gilmore Girls

Joel remembers the first time he saw Colton Parayko. And he remembers being speechless (and probably not breathing) for a good minute before Binner jabbed him with his elbow and rolled his eyes. And, if he thought she was gorgeous off the ice, he was not prepared for her on ice. And he suddenly felt like he was back to being a kid and dealing with his first crush. He doesn’t think he managed a complete, coherent sentence for a good two days.

After a day of knowing her, he knew three things were absolutely true: 

1\. She was a fucking good hockey player and he never wanted to get hit by her slapshot (seriously, Binner had actually had to take a minute after he blocked it for the first time).

2\. She was fucking gorgeous. Like Disney princess level (he had a crush on Cinderella when he was little, shut up, Binner).

And 3. She was out of his fucking league. Like, they weren’t even in the same arena.

But he got to play the boyfriend card a lot since she was too nice to flat out turn anyone down. So he spent many a night with his arm around her waist, or dancing with her, or (on a couple memorable occasions when the rando wouldn’t get the hint) making out of with her. 

And he wanted. Oh, did he want. But sleeping together would make things complicated and potentially mess up one of the best friendships he had (because Colton was awesome and probably one of his favorite humans on the planet), and he couldn’t take that risk. Because she was a relationship person. She deserved a boyfriend who worshipped her, who didn’t do stupid things when drunk, who wouldn’t be tempted to cheat. She deserved the world. And Joel knew that he couldn’t provide that.

And Colton...there would be moments when she would look at him and he would think, “This is it. This is that moment in the movie when the boy and girl confess their feelings”. They had shared a number of those looks throughout the years - both in Chicago and when they made the Blues roster.

And seeing Colton grow in St. Louis was breathtaking. Her confidence grew drastically, flourishing under Petro and JayBo’s guidance, getting comfortable with her position next to Schwartzy - the older woman taking her under her wing and helping her deal with bullshit.

But it never failed to hit Joel like a punch in the gut when her blinding smile was directly solely at him. He thought he would have been used to it. And he knew Fabs was keeping Binner updated on his patheticness. 

And so Eddy hooked up with anyone willing - hoping that maybe he could fuck her out of his system. And if some of them looked like Colton if he squinted, that was his own business.

And through the years they had had so many close calls. There was a fine line between making out to get a guy to back off and making out with the intention of it going somewhere else (at least for them, that probably wasn’t an “across the board” thing), and they danced that line on the regular.

Not well, but they did.

And then they won the Cup and he wasn’t even thinking about when he pulled her against him in the locker room and kissed her - their teammates cheered and acted like Jaden hadn’t just been full on making out with Schenner on the ice, like, five minutes ago. And when they broke apart, he leaned his forehead against hers and closed his eyes, breathing her in.

“Come home with me.” she breathed out and he thought he was hearing things.

But when he pulled back, she was looking at him with those blue, blue eyes and he couldn’t hold back anymore, breathing out a “yes”.

And he didn’t remember much about the rest of that night. All he knows is that he woke up at Colton’s, on her couch, still dressed. And he didn’t know if he was thankful or not. Although, he opted for thankful because Fabs was on the other end of the couch, Sanny was in one of the armchairs, and Binner was on the floor hugging one of Colton’s pillows.

He looked up as she stumbled down the stairs from her room and regretted it immediately. She was wearing a cami and teeny-tiny shorts, and her hair was all over the place. And her coming down the stairs must have woken Binner up because the pillow the goalie had been holding was suddenly hitting Joel in the head.

The outfit didn’t get much better when she changed because now her teeny tiny shorts were denim and tight and her shirt was a crop top and Joel was not ready for that. And she had done her hair and carefully applied her makeup to look like she wasn’t wearing anything but Joel knew what she looked like. And Joel knew when she was wearing makeup. And it was always that much harder to control himself when she did because he wanted to be the reason she went through the effort (because Colton Parayko never put on makeup when she didn’t have or when she wasn’t out to impress someone).

And it was like she was trying to kill him that whole week and in Vegas - especially in the biniki and the dresses she wore when they went out. And then they went to New York with Patty, which was its own unique struggle because he didn’t have Fabs or Binner to elbow, or smack, or pinch, or kick him when she looked particularly good, or when he got to her room to get her for their shopping trip and she answered her door in a pair of leggings and a bra like it was nothing.

Which, it should have been. They had shared a locker room for years. But until now, he had only really seen in a sports bra, not the lacy, pink, thing she was currently wearing.

His break came right before he broke and he didn’t have to see her in person again until the ESPYs. He had time to try to get her out of his system. He just needed time. And he had a month before he would be in LA for the EPSYs. That was plenty of time.

It was not plenty of time. He arrived that the hotel and Fabs sent him a room number. Apparently, someone had sent a stylist to the hotel for Colton and Robbi and the guys were keeping them company as they were getting hair down and makeup applied - not that they had invited them judging by Colton’s whines whenever Binner took another picture. Robbi was grumbling to herself about Schwartzy being lucky to have missed this as she was zipped into a tight fitting black dress and heels were thrust into her hands.

But Colton was as breathtaking as ever when they finished with her and everything in Joel’s world that wasn’t Colton faded away. She stood there in a Navy dress, ball gown style as opposed to Robbi’s mermaid style (he had watched many an episode of Say Yes to the Dress with her) that made those blue, blue eyes of hers pop. It didn’t help that they were lined in a way that brought attention to them, gold color smeared on her eyelids. Her lips a beautiful shade of dark red. 

And Joel stared at her with his mouth slightly open and definitely not breathing until Fabs elbowed him, hard. And he shook his head and offered his arm to her when it was time for them to leave. Because he wasn’t good enough to be her boyfriend but he was good enough to escort her down a red carpet and be her unofficial date for the night.

And when he took a video for his Instastory, he panned the phone to her and her hair started blowing into his face and he couldn’t help his ridiculous grin and as she apologized and tried to get it under control.

Somewhere between leaving the afterparty and getting back to her room, they were making out with the full intent for it to go further. And then he had her on the bed, after they both fought with the puffy dress to free her from it, and he couldn’t bring himself to stop. Because he had wanted this for a long time. And from the look on her face as she pulled him back down, she did to.

And sex with Colton was better than he ever dreamed it would be (and he had had many dreams about what sex with Colton would be like, spent a lot of time thinking about it). She was perfect. And he wasn’t. He had never been a guy who did commitment. And he didn’t think he ever would be.

The next morning, before they were accosted by their teammates for breakfast, they finally talked. 

Joel finally saying, “I have thought about asking you out...several times. I just… don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“Why not?” Colton asked, looking like she was trying to to look hurt as she wrapped the sheet tightly around her body.

“Because you’re special,” Joel responded, that it was the most obvious answer in the world.

“Special like ‘Stop eating the paste’ special?” Colton’s expression was one that Joel hated to be causing, like she didn’t know she was way too good for him.

“You are beautiful. You are intelligent. You are incredible interested. You’re DEFINITELY girlfriend material,” Joel rushed to explain so the didn’t think she wasn’t enough, “I, however, am definitely NOT boyfriend material. I can’t do commitment, and I don’t want to pretend to you that I can. If I were to date you, there would be no dating. It would be something RIGHT AWAY. And I’m not that guy.”

Colton was silent for a minute, just looking at him before standing up and heading to the bathroom, “Right. I’m just gonna take a shower. You might want to take one in your room as well.”

When Joel sees her at breakfast, her hair’s in a messy bun, face clean of makeup, in leggings and an LA hoodie, and her red were red like she had been crying and Joel felt a tidal wave of guilt hit him. Because he had caused that. 

It didn’t help that Robbi was instantly at her side, shooting him unreadable looks as she and Colton conversed quietly.

And then Joel was traded to Carolina and he left without saying good-bye to Colton - partly because he didn’t time and partly because he knew he wouldn’t be able to say good-bye to her. Instead, he asked Binner and Fabs to keep an eye on her.

It almost broke him when Binner told him, a couple months later, that he thought Colton was seeing someone. She hadn’t introduced her to the team or anything, but Robbi and Jaden had definitely met him. And if Colton was introducing Jaden - who was very judgmental when it came to anyone interested in her ducklings - it had to mean it was serious. 

And Joel hated that. Because Colton was the girl of his dreams. He loved her - it had taken him a while to figure out that he was in love with her, but he was. And while he still knew he wouldn’t ever be good enough for her, he didn’t expect her to find someone who maybe was. Had to be if he had Schwartzy’s seal of approval.

He’s in New York, just getting back from the hotel after a hard game, when his phone starts buzzing. And he’s prepared to ignore it because it’s no one he can’t call back tomorrow. But then he sees it’s Colton and he hasn’t talked to Colton since the trade - really not since LA. Sure, they had talked, but it wasn’t the same.

“You’re a jackass, you know that?” Colton’s voice started in on him the minute he picked up, the noise from whatever bar the team was in bleeding through. She was also clearly drunk. And he liked Drunk Colton so much his heart ached. Without pausing for him to respond she continued, “You left without saying goodbye. You could have called or texted or stopped by my place, but you left. And..I met someone. He’s a really sweet guy. And he’s funny. And he’s smart. And he likes me. And he doesn’t call me special as a way to chicken out of talking about his feelings. And you’re a jerk, Joel Edmundson. Because you didn’t even give me a chance to talk. You just made the decision for me that we wouldn’t work. Because I’m ‘special’, whatever the fuck that means.”

“Colton -”

“I’m not done talking,” she snapped back at him, “I thought I loved you, Joel. And I thought you returned those feelings. But you’re a coward. And I want to be able to move forward with Andy. But I can’t. Because you’re still in my head. And I look at Jaden and Schenner and I listen to Robbi talk about Matthew and all I can think about is how that should be us. I should be talking about you with my girls, about how much I love you and about how you surprised me flowers or some bullshit. But instead that only way I can talk about you is about how you broke my heart. And I really like Andy but I’m probably going to have to break up with him because I’m so not over you and it’s not fair to him. And part of me really wants to hate you. I really do. But I can’t.”

“Colton, I-”

“No, Joel,” Colton’s voice was small and she sniffling, “this time, I get to end the conversation without letting you respond.”

And she hung up and Joel just stared down at his phone. Until it started ringing again, this time Binner.

“What’s up?” he tried to mask his voice.

“Jaden is taking Colton home, she’s had a couple more than usual,” Binner replied, “I heard what she told you. What did you say to her in LA? Because I know that’s when this started.”

And Joel finally let everything out. Binner knew that Joel loved her, but he didn’t know the whole of it. 

“I ruined it.” Joel ended, letting out a shaky breath, “Because I was too stupid to realize that what I felt for Colton was nothing like what I’ve felt for anyone ever. And now she hates me.”

“She doesn’t hate you, Eds,” Binner replied, “She couldn’t hate anyone. She doesn’t even hate Benn. But she’s hurt. Look, she kind of saves the Serious Conversations for Schwartzy. But I know that she wouldn’t still be that upset if she hated you.”

“It doesn’t matter. She has a boyfriend.”

“A boyfriend she’s going to break up with because she’s not over you, Eddy. You can have her, you can finally be the boyfriend you always acted like you were, you just need to fucking man up do something about it.”

“I have no idea where to start….”

“You’ll think of something. No one knows Colton Parayko better than you.”

Joel gave it a couple days, got a text from Binner that Colton had indeed broken up with her boyfriend but to wait to talk to her because she was still pissed and he had a welt on his arm the size of a golfball from catching one of her slapshots.

He almost calls Jaden but thinks better of it. Because if Colton was hurting, then Jaden wouldn’t be in a helpful mood. And Joel knew Jaden liked him, but Colton was her baby - well, Robbi was her baby now, but Colton was still one of hers. 

So, he did some research. He knew what Colton liked. But everything had to be perfect because he had messed up.

“Are you sure you can get to practice before her?” he asked Binner one more time as the goalie picked up the very last item.

“Yes.” Binner rolled his eyes.

“Dude, you have to get there first. Especially since it’s a Wednesday, which means she’s riding with Schwartzy and Robbi because Wednesday is Girls Lunch or whatever they call it. And -”

“And Schwartzy is always the first one to practice. I know, Eds.” 

Joel knew the goalie was rolling his eyes, but he didn’t care. This needed to work and for it to work, Binner needed to be early for once in his life.

And Joel waited patiently, wishing it wasn’t an off-day so that he could have something to do but stare at his phone.

Finally, it rang and he was going kill whoever it was if it wasn’t Colton and he scrambled to pick it up.

“Colton, hi,” Joel tried to sound cool and knew he failed when heard Colton make that noise she made when she found something funny but didn’t want to laugh because it would be mean.

“Hi, Joel.” she responded, voice soft but fond - which was a good sign, “I got your flowers, and your candles, and your cookbook - I hadn’t gotten around to buying that one yet, and your banner, and your note… and the necklace.”

“I had a lot of years of being stupid to make up for.” Joel replied, “And, if you’ll let me, I’d like to start making those up to you. Now. Like, right now.”

“Well, I have practice right now. And then afterward, I have lunch with Jaden and Robbi. But I’ll call you when I get home. We need to talk. Like, actually talk. Like, let each other respond talk.”

“I...yeah, we do.”

“Okay. I’ll call you later.”

“I’ll be here.”

“Joel, I love you.”

“I love you, too, Colton.”

“Bye.”

And Joel felt the stupid grin spread across his face. Sure, they were going to have the difficult, serious talk they should have had a while ago. But Colton Parayko loved him. And that was enough for right now.


End file.
